Checking in From Bali…The Un-sugar-coated Version! :) 

17 Mar Checking in From Bali…The Un-sugar-coated Version! :) 

It’s hard to believe that it’s now over one month since I left ‘my other life’ in a shipping container and boarded Virgin Flight 043 with no real idea what lay ahead for me.  In one way it seems like months and yet another, just a few short days.  Wow!  What a ride it has been!!  Imagine stepping onto the biggest emotional rollercoaster… say no more!  My ego and all of its fear based stories terrorised me for 16 full days and as much as I tried to practice what I preach, no amount of emotional healing would suffice…  I felt like a huge lead weight had been dumped on my shoulders and each time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice how this stress was taking a toll!  I looked old, I felt old… I never feel old!!…I felt heaviness in the right side of my heart and a weight, as if someone had cut me open in the middle of the night and placed a brick in my gut!  I smiled yet it was just a motion.. I did not feel joy!  I always feel joy!  So much fear rising to the surface, gripping terror that had me lying awake at night wondering “what the heck I was doing and just what the bloody hell I had done!”… yet weirdly enough, in all of this, I had the knowing that somehow, I was right where I was meant to be… 

I knew when I embarked on this adventure it would be one of spiritual growth and after 8 years of guiding/assisting others on their journeys via my holistic healing retreats, I longed for this.  I knew that within this recent fear based turmoil there was a lesson to be learned and deep fears and programming to acknowledge and let go of.  For me, the lesson/healing has been so, so clear.  My conscious and subconscious ‘fear of lack’ rising to the surface in shocking waves, triggered by my surrounds in this third world country, the delays and unexpected accommodation expenses and the communication barrier…stopping any forward movement on my behalf, and at times triggering a projection of stinginess that left me feeling ashamed.  I felt distrust in the Balinese people, fearful I would be or was being misguided or scammed.

Not in a long time have I called upon the Angles of Light so regularly for guidance.  And on day 16,  still homeless, and with the only real access into the land a bridge consisting of 5 bamboo poles wired together, unsure as to just how long this may stay the case, a huge healing took place… so much fear, so many tears, so much aloneness, so much awareness , so much gratitude!

By the next morning there had been a shift within me which is so often the case when a complete, and I mean complete 🙂 emptying of the emotional body takes place.  I felt lighter, I looked lighter, the pain had gone from my heart and the brick taken out of my gut!  For the first time since I landed in this foreign land I felt myself, joyful, inspired, and ready to face whatever it was that lay ahead, one little step at a time.  This emotional release allowed me to see through different eyes as I looked around with gratitude at the stunning nature that surrounds me here and giggled as I lay back in the ‘natural spa’ that had occurred since the heavy rains… what a gift!  I felt inspired to head into town with my Balinese friend to buy fruit trees for my land… avocado, mango, fig, soursop, cocao, papaya, lemon and lime.  My ‘ego mind’ was eased in regards to being ‘ripped off’ as I was made aware that things were not nearly as cheap as I had assumed… this, in my case, was a good thing!  The healing continued as we pulled over to the side of the road to buy papaya and here it was the opposite, a huge papaya for just $1.50!  We bought a bag of cooked yams and stood there on the side of the road, peeling back the skins and devouring them for lunch… $1 a bag!  So simple, so delicious (especially with some of Don Tolman’s 24crt gold Ra Seasalt that accompanies me everywhere 🙂 ), so good for you, so filling and so cheap!  I felt aware that this whole experience was for my personal growth… a layer of deep bullshit programming that needed to shift in order for me to move one step closer to achieving my deepest desire of being released from past programming and ego stories of the mind!

I realise, more than ever before, just how indoctrinated we in the western world are in regards to ‘material wealth’ and the chronic fear attached to this programming.  Fears that are based more on ‘what others think and expect’ than our own inherent needs and desires!  Now don’t get me wrong here, I am in no way advocating struggle and lack…I know THAT ONE stems from bad, bad programming!  No, as you are aware, I am soooo looking forward to having my beautiful home here in Bali and eventually the same back in Australia…. I believe it is our birth right as a human being to have a beautiful abundant life… what I am saying is “how much do we really need in order to feel safe?  How much do we REALLY need, especially if the process of accumulation is not enjoyable and keeping us in a state of fear, stress, pain and emotional turmoil, just going through the daily motions, afraid to ‘get off the wheel’ for fear of losing all that we have worked so hard and stressed so much about accumulating in the first place!”

What I see so profoundly through my own personal journey these past weeks is that the ‘ego mind’ and its crazy-ass fear based stories are keeping so many people living in a state of sufferance emotionally, spiritually and unfortunately, physically.  Yep, those stress based headaches, body aches, pains and heaviness eventually manifesting into dis-ease within the physical body!

So, with these fear based stories ranting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on a subconscious level, the opposite is also occurring.  We are actually creating blockages to abundance!  It may just be that if we took one more little baby step a whole ‘other level’ of abundance would open up for us, yet we never get to know because the fear of loss is just too great to bear.  There’s a very powerful saying that goes… “nature abhors a vortex”… meaning if you create some space, nature ‘has’ to fill it, you are actually creating an opportunity for new amazingness to flow in.  For most however, it is much safer to ‘make do’ and keep working like a slave, and that is exactly what we are, slaves to our Ego Mind!

What’s crazy is that this programming is a double edged sword!  On one hand it is the very reason we push ourselves to ‘sickness’ and yet on the other, it is actually blocking the flow of abundance, making even more reason why (in the mind) we need to keep working like a slave!  These blockages keep us in a state of mediocre, never really contemplating the possibility of just how much amazingness we can really create and how many lives we can truly touch.

Sooo, with those revelations well and truly felt and realised, in this Chinese Year Of The Rooster, this numerology number 1 year (year of new beginnings) I have made the decision to be vigilant to my fear based programming, to monitor my thoughts and make the conscious effort to re-programme my mind through daily affirmations and meditation.  Neuro scientists say it takes 30-200 days to re-programme the central computer, so I am now on my way to letting go of the bullshit barriers that are typically the result of generationally passed down teachings.

In this stunning paradise I, for now at least, call home, spring water runs in abundance from the taps, lush volcanic soils nourish the garden, jungle vegetation creates the most serene peacefulness, heart centred like-minds work toward the same vision of a supportive, sustainable little existence, and with fear locked away for now (it’s a persistent little sucker!!) I move forward with my warung plans.  Cushions and bamboo mats are in the making as are kitchen benches and wooden blinds to keep out the weather.  It will then be off to Denpasar to purchase the cooktop for my signature breakfast ‘rosemary eggs’ , my dehydrator and fermenting jars, a coffee machine, fridges etc… along with my bed and bath if I have a house by then 🙂

Plans are now well and truly under way for my first 9 day Holistic Healing Retreat to be held at the stunning Poinciana Resort in Gretek in August, and my like-minded ‘Sister’ on the land and I have just completed co-creating an amazing water fasting retreat package that will be held right here in paradise in July.  Packages for both retreats are now on my website www.lynnienichols.com/retreats.

The Holistic Healing Retreat will be held similarly to those I have been facilitating in Australia these past 8 years but for a few days longer- a 9 night/10 day holistic package of raw food, juice fasting with the option to water fast, holistic health discussions including natures signature foods that act like medicine to each particular body part/organ, emotional healing, voice dialogue, life-coaching, daily yoga/gentle exercise, meditation and sound healing via didgeridoo and crystal bowl via beach camp-fire, healing massages that work on releasing blockages of the meridians… and being Bali we also get to indulge in extra amazingness such as a sunrise dolphin cruise, a guided jungle waterfall excursion to learn about the healing plants in abundance here, a soak in the thermal hot springs of Mt Batur, a High Priestess Blessing and a taste of Ubud’s amazing raw foods!  My first retreat will be an intimate gathering of 5 or 6 guests only so please let me know if you are interested in joining us for this.

The Water Fasting Retreat will run over 12 days beginning with one day of raw food followed by juice fasting for two days, moving into 7 days on pristine highly electrified spring water and then two days of juice and raw foods to integrate back into normality.  This will be facilitated by myself (completed 8 x 10 day water fasts and many smaller fasts) and Tuuli who has, incredibly, completed 2 x 40 day fasts and many smaller fasts, so you will be well supported!  I always say that my 10 day water fasts are as much an emotional detox as a physical one, so our package includes emotional healing, life coaching, voice dialogue self-awareness, camp fires and sound healing via didgeridoo and crystal singing bowl, massages, yoga and meditation, a hot thermal spring soak ….and nature, nature, and more nature including our stunning waterfall just a little walk up the track from the accommodation!  We are only offering 5 places for this retreat and the price is a one-time introductory price only, so please let me know if you are interested in attending this one.

So there you have it, the un-sugar coated version of the last 5 weeks of my life!  Today I feel amazing, being present, moving forward with plans…appreciating with so much gratitude this incredible opportunity to live in paradise, where a visit to my neighbour means trudging up a meandering path, over rocks along the river, through the jungle with a torch for a night time fire to share some laughs, my raw chocolate and tea, or a didgeridoo session around a full moon fire!  Where a walk to the beach and morning local market has me giggling with the locals as they try to understand my limited Indonesian ( I am improving every day though and I love learning this new language) and supplies me with enough yams and sweet potato to feed 5 at a cost of $2…AND YET a few days ago I was walking the streets of Ubud looking for someone to fix my computer, feeling totally alone and overwhelmed, crying like a baby haha.  I have a feeling this may be the story of my life for a little while longer yet as I get to know my way around and settle into this new life!  But you know me, these emotions are better out than in so if I need to chuck a little tanty or have a good ol’ cry now and then… so be it!  🙂

It’s so interesting … I told a man the other day that I have packed up my ‘other life and left it in a shipping container’ along with the most amazing family and friends and clients a girl could ever wish for (I made sure I told him they were not in the container though 🙂 ) and he still questioned me as to “what I was running from”.  I rest my case re fear based programming… I mean, I couldn’t possibly be following my dream and going on the adventure of my life now could I?