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fear Tag

Well, time flies when you are having fun that’s for sure and here we are, over a week gone by now since my last check-in! I feel such a deep sense of gratitude to be reporting that life goes on as per usual here in North Bali, with no dramatic action to report so far!. As I sit here today, the earth feels like she is calming. For the past three days now there has been no big tremors, in comparison to a week ago when I could visibly see and audibly hear my glass house shaking, and whilst riding my scooter, felt the bike veer off in another direction as if I had a flat tyre... now that was an experience!!
05 October, 2017 /
It’s hard to believe that it’s now over one month since I left ‘my other life’ in a shipping container and boarded Virgin Flight 043 with no real idea what lay ahead for me.  In one way it seems like months and yet another, just a few short days.  Wow!  What a ride it has been!!  Imagine stepping onto the biggest emotional rollercoaster… say no more!  My ego and all of its fear based stories terrorised me for 16 full days and as much as I tried to practice what I preach, no amount of emotional healing would suffice…  I felt like a huge lead weight had been dumped on my shoulders and each time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice how this stress was taking a toll!  I looked old, I felt old… I never feel old!!…I felt heaviness in the right side of my heart and a weight, as if someone had cut me open in the middle of the night and placed a brick in my gut!  I smiled yet it was just a motion.. I did not feel joy!  I always feel joy!  So much fear rising to the surface, gripping terror that had me lying awake at night wondering “what the heck I was doing and just what the bloody hell I had done!”… yet weirdly enough, in all of this, I had the knowing that somehow, I was right where I was meant to be… 
17 March, 2017 /